These few months have been quite a roller coaster for me. After spending 10 years in one school,the time had finally come for me to change from school to college. After the summer break I started going to a new school(college). Let’s name this college XYZ. XYZ was quite a nice place. The buildings, the teachers, the principal were all good. The only problem was the people. If there’s one thing about me, it’s that I’m an introvert and it gets really hard for me to make friends, but….once you get to know me, trust me I’m the most extroverted person you’ve ever met. So I did have classsmates approach me and I did make new friends. Everything was going alright.
But just after a few weeks, I realised I couldn’t really vibe in XYZ. Now I don’t mean like chilling and all the cool stuff but, soon I didn’t find the teachers that great and friends, well they were alright. Knowing how important these initial years of my college were, in terms of studies and how XYZ weren’t meeting the expectations of my parents, so my parents decided to change my school. It didn’t take much time for them to choose the next school. But for me it was a tough decision to make.
Leaving school mid semester meant that I would have to go through the whole process again of meeting new people, making new friends, and adapting to a whole new environment. But this time things would be more problematic since I would be joining mid semester and there would have already been friend groups in the new school I would be joining . Nonetheless I joined the new school after a week, because at the end of the day it’s the quality teaching that matters. So now we have a transaction from XYZ to..ABC. ABC was quite different then any other school especially because it was kind of a “strict" school. Apart from studies there weren’t much activities. At the first studies were going good..I did make a couple of friends.
But gradually studies started to drop. There are friend groups in my class and in my bus. Although I’m some what a part of both friend groups, at the same time I’m not. I feel like if you have to be a part of these friend groups you need to socialize a lot and use the same language as them(profanity) .There was a small phase a few weeks back, where I felt I had no actual friend to talk to in class. The friend group in class used to talk among themselves. The girls would talk to me, but they were more like a trio and more closer among themselves. They had their inside jokes.
Eventually I felt left out. During this time, my studies weren’t going too well either. I would study late at night yet my rank wouldn’t go up, instead they kept going down and down. The friend group in the bus knew each other pretty well especially because most of them were from the same old school(coincidentally their previous school was XYZ). The bus people would talk ALOT like ALOT ALOT. I preferred listening to music in the bus. At first I did feel bad when I would overhear them planning hangouts. At that moment I felt like nothing was good in my life, but eventually I realised that I actually love my own company instead. The few times, the friend group involved me. I would enjoy but not actually have fun with them. It felt like everyone had to just fake around and laugh over things which were well… not funny. I would think about how I could cut myself off from them at that moment.
As days went by I felt that I started enjoying my own company a lot more. It’s not like I stopped socialising with the bus group or my class group. I do talk to them but only some times. And honestly I think that’s the perfect amount of socialising one needs in life. Studies started to get better with the change of my timetable. Instead of being a night owl, I am now an early bird. Everything feels perfect. Not a very happening life like most of my friends I see on social media but, it’s the kind of life that makes me happy, and the kind of life I want to live.
Image from : BiteSize Learning. Thank you
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